Toons Verses

Dear Kevin Avery:

I’m writing to you to congratulate you on the fine work that you’ve been accomplishing with your class action lawsuits against ACME. Your revelation of Project Sisyphus at the Congressional Hearing blew open Pandora’s Box. This is a genie that you can’t put back into the bottle.

And I should know. A few of them have been my clients. 

But this is, unfortunately, nothing that ACME can’t recover from. I’m not telling you anything that you don’t already know. You can see it already. ACME will distance themselves from Leghorn and Crane. They’ve already thrown them to the proverbial, and literal, vultures and will put most of the blame on them, their subordinates, and their previous leadership. Their new CEO will look all squeaky clean with a nice new Company Board. They will apologize for the missteps of their predecessors, and do what they always did.

Offer compensation. I know that Avery, Jones & Maltese is not unfamiliar with those as they had been your bread and butter for a while before Coyote Vs. ACME exploded like one of their defective bombs.

Make no mistake. They will settle. They will probably even offer larger settlements. And they still have political clout as well, even if Senator Fudd is under some investigation at the moment.

It’s this particular development that spurred me into writing to you. We share many of the same clients at this point, though my firm has been fighting an uphill battle for a while here at Toontown, and in LA. 

A power vacuum more dangerous than any defective household ACME cleaning device is coming. 

You remember the AJAX Corporation. While ACME is reeling and attempting to reorganize itself, AJAX has been steadily regaining its influence. They’ve always marketed themselves as a dependable company. Their household products rarely, if ever, self-destruct or cease to work. They started with all the odd jobs in the late 1930s – locksmithing, carwashing, even ghost-hunting which, as you can imagine, is rife in many Toon communities. But during World War II, they provided many products and munitions for the US military. ACME was the more bombastic one, usually marketing towards gag and morale products under Marvin Acme. But as you can imagine with large companies that become monopolies, or bureaucracies the left hand doesn’t always know what the right hand is wiping. ACME got ahead during the War and Post-War periods. My grandfather was active during that time, and he saw a lot of this first hand. 

He was a famous private eye. You probably know my family at this point. After he defeated Judge Doom, also known as Baron von Rotten – twice – he had been doing a little bit of investigating himself. Before that he handled many Toon cases, but also investigated extramarital affairs but he got very adept at tracking where the money went.

Von Rotten ran Clover Industries with money he stole from the First National Bank of Toontown, as well as using it for bribes to keep his position as Judge. Clover Industries, however, had dealings with ACME before the former attempted to consolidate with the latter. Marvin Acme didn’t allow it, but his subordinates were opportunistic and they had military contracts. 

On the surface, these allowed ACME to eclipse AJAX. Since that time, ACME’s moved away from gags and pranks and party favors and it’s AJAX that focuses on a bland, but funny and family-friendly entertainment facade. There are many investigations going on, especially by FBI Director Piquel and LA Commissioner Bonkers in the wake of the lawsuits you’re carrying out. ACME is not going to have a good day, especially when more evidence comes to light and it implicates their patrons in government. Given how some are Toons, quite a few are still alive and it will not go well for them if this information gets out. 

But why am I writing to you again? I don’t want to support AJAX over ACME, even though it would be potentially lucrative as they are on the ascendant. They’ve been snuffling their noses into Toontown and other Toon communities, trying to gain more influence and take more direct control – similar to how ACME used to run Toontown, except without Marvin Acme to moderate them. 

My family and I, including my Uncle Roger, and my Aunts Betty and Jessica, do not want this. The truth is my grandfather documented enough information to help further investigations into ACME, the US government, and AJAX.

AJAX backed off years back against ACME after the War was over to do some damage control of their own. Apparently, Cloverleaf Industries told them about their plans for Toontown, and how with ACME out of the way, they could dominate the market again. 

That’s right. There’s reason to believe they thought Clover would make that highway and take Toontown away from ACME. I don’t need to tell you that AJAX leadership had been furious when ACME took major shares in the Town’s development, effectively sidelining their influence over the former collaboration. Cloverleaf had done them some favors already, and this would have only further given them an advantage. Maybe AJAX hoped to relocate Toontown’s residents. Or something else. 

But it was even worse than that. 

Do you remember the Props Toons? I’m not talking about the current Toons that did their wartime duties. I mean the foreign ones that disappeared – and particularly our homegrown ones. 

The Caricatures. You know the ones. And not just the ones employed during the War to represent our former enemies, who were given edits and rebrushings, but also people like Private Snafu. Do you ever wonder what happened to them? Many of them immediately disappeared right after 1945. That was two years before my grandfather dealt with Judge Doom. There is reason to believe Doom, or Von Rotten, was contracted to deal with many of his former cohorts from his own prop years: which led him to being a government asset. We always wondered how he was able to operate in the open with impunity after the War and where he got the resources. Or why complaints against him on a federal level went nowhere. My grandfather wrote something in his journal that we found in a safe in his old office called Project Nyx. You know, like nix. There is no proof, but you and I already know by now that Project Sisyphus wasn’t the only Project ACME had been working on. 

That could, and they would, shunt all the brunt of that onto Von Rotten. And indeed, he did create the Dip. But he had the resources to create and refine it somewhere, especially on test subjects. 

But these disappearances didn’t stop after Von Rotten was gone. They kept happening during the ‘60s. Little Black Sambo, Uncle Tom, the whole lot of them … Yeah. They were embarrassing, the roles they were made to play then, but they were living beings that just tried to survive and feed their families. Some of their work is in historical archives or private vaults, but at best there’s reason to believe they were, like Dr. Lorre and others, placed in portable holes. And this is the best case scenario. 

You will notice that not all of them were ACME employees, but AJAX and their satellite workers as well. These are the people, and the systems they made, that want to gain more power or maintain it. We want to make sure that the public knows what they are supporting, hold them accountable, as well finding their victims, or figuring out what happened to them while giving restitution to their friends and communities for the resulting lost loyalties of their work as well as pain and suffering. 

My family business used to be private investigation, but now Mr. Avery we are a legal practice for social and restorative justice. I think that your firm and ours would make a formidable team against these crooks and make them face the truth and public censure. 

In good faith, I’ve included some materials you might find interesting. Please contact me as soon as it is convenient. I look forward to talking with you further.

Sincerely,

Theodore Valiant

senior partner of Valiant & Valiant 

Who Censored Eddie Valiant?

From Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)

I’m in my office, thinking to myself about everything. But given how this is still Toontown, my thoughts already sound like a film noir audio monologue. I really hope no one comes in right now and hears them. 

Not Dolores. And especially not Roger. He definitely won’t shut up about this, and this … this isn’t something that needs voice overs. Or captions. Or air balloons. Or whatever the hell will get you cut in this town. 

I haven’t had a drink since ‘47. But this is something that needs a good bourbon. Like turpentine. Acetone. Benzene. 

Yeah. 

But it won’t erase those memories. 

Santino told me about the Dip. It had another name, but after the War well … you can understand why even the cops and press grumbling behind Doom’s back didn’t call it that to anyone’s face.

Even though that’s what it was. That’s what he wanted it to be. 

It’s pretty messed up. You know, before he was Doom. Before he was the goon that killed my brother in that bank robbery. He was a movie star before that too. The Toon Of A Thousand Faces. He did all kinds of propaganda against the Nazis, and it was too many accidents in that role that made him go overboard. Apparently he lost it right when Teddy and I graduated from the Academy. 

I always wondered, years later now, in ‘92 how he did it. 

How did Doom make the Dip? How did he make that Dip Machine? I got how he used the bank funds, my brother’s blood money, to finance himself and make himself into a judge, and keep getting elected. How he made his shell company. And how he used his election to get away with more and more horrible things. 

It was in 1988. They tried to find the cel sheet for that poor Shoe. I still see that Shoe quailing and screaming in my dreams. But they couldn’t do anything. So they have a statue of the Shoe in gold in the center of Toontown.

Paid for by the Acme Corporation. In memoriam.

That’s when I did some digging. I started this on the job with Marvin Acme, back when I was on the case that used me in Doom’s plans. Acme Corp primarily made gag products. It had a few competitors, but its main rival was the Ajax Corporation. Most of their merchandise was mostly geared towards toons. This changed when the War happened, and somehow Acme got government-sponsorship. Ajax was all about practical items. It still is, though it’s not as major these days as it used to be. Chances are, in a decade or so, they’re going to go downhill, though I could be wrong. I’ve been wrong about a lot of things. 

But Acme? They were all about gadgets. These days they’ve doubled down on making gadgets, but there were some other things they made in the past. The whole gag is that they malfunction, right? They blow up in your face. Perfect to give to an enemy, or another rival. The best way to sabotage an operation is to give them something that fails or explodes at the worst possible moment. 

I don’t think Marvin was involved in that part. He was all about the party tricks, but he delegated and the people under him, well they took government contracts. Ajax did it too, but gave troops the essentials to survive. Both also helped out with war time propaganda. Mostly for morale. But what maybe people don’t know, and a few friends and contacts of mine found out after 1947 was before 1947 they took commissions and collaborations. They had special projects. 

I always wondered what happened to Germany’s props toons. You know the ones. We definitely had ours, in the Allies. The Axis, theirs disappeared. Like they were never there. Their spies too. Like they were liquidated.

But there was one reel. It was in a dusty canister. I don’t know who got to me. Or where it came from.  But now, especially with what I found out after, I have some theories about who sent it. 

It was called Project Nyx.

No, not the New York Nix. But the wordplay was in the right place. It was an old timey reel. There was a Toon with a buzzard. An ugly looking, leering bird. I saw this Toon stroke the bird’s head. I saw that toon’s eyes. It was black and white, but I could see how red they really were. He took the bird and dumped it into a vat and ….

I need another drink. 

I guess that explained what happened to Voltaire. And then, a whole lot of kangaroos. And two of the seven Weasels from the Patrol. 

Project Nyx. They really did get nixed. 

All of them were no good goons. But no one deserves that. And then, I saw the others. Toons from … not America. I was going to do something about it, maybe as it was far above my paygrade and I’m retired, but the damn thing caught on fire. It was gone in the projector. Like some self-destructing Toon spy gadget. 

But I saw writing on it in marker.

Property of the United States government. Acme Corporation. Commissioned by Cloverleaf Industries on behalf of the US. 1945. Project terminated. 

I caught them with their pants down, and not in the good way with Roger’s wife. I wasn’t going to stand for it. 

A few months back, I made an appointment with Acme’s new CEO. 

Foghorn Leghorn was always a blowhard. Everyone knows him by reputation. Rooster too big for the farm that he doesn’t even live in Toontown anymore. He made a big show of welcome, and called me the Hero of Toontown, and all of that garbage. 

I asked him about Project Nyx. Of course, being a Toon he went back to talking about the Knicks, or knickers, or if I was talking about a cancelled project. I told him about Judge Doom. Cloverleaf Industries. The War. Acme. The Dip. I knew about all of it. 

Leghorn made a whole show of it. He said he wasn’t CEO then. That if any of it was true, it had been during Marvin Acme’s time. I told him that there was no way Marvin would have gone along with a Project like this, or known about it. Leghorn said it was ridiculous. Why would toons want to permanently erase toons?

I asked him if Acme had commissioned something by Von Rotten of Cloverleaf Industries.

Doom was not a subtle man. It must have been his Toon showing. 

Leghorn said he didn’t know. Actually sprawled his legs on his desk, and said Dr. Lorre might have something. I know Lorre. Teddy and I met a lot of mad scientists in the Toon community, as you can imagine, and I got a good read on him. He was largely benevolent and he’d never condone something like this. But he was in charge of Acme’s Projects.

I asked to speak with him. Leghorn said Lorre was on a vacation. I asked when he was coming back. Leghorn didn’t say anything. I already knew. 

Maybe it was because I was the Hero of Toontown, along with Roger. Maybe it was because I didn’t have any proof. Maybe Leghorn didn’t reveal anything that could incriminate Acme. Maybe it was just because I am an old man. Either way, I got to leave that place without cement shoes, or being treated like Doom had that poor Shoe so many years ago. 

So that’s why I’m sitting at my desk. That’s why it’s hard to look at Teddy’s picture. Or my picture with Roger. Even if I managed to make a case, there might be an investigation into Acme, but then what? They still manage the Town. Toons still run Acme. Toons still run Toontown. What would they do? What if the rest of the world found out? But what can I do?

I think about my official contacts. The rookie I took under my wing later in the ‘70s. I don’t want to involve Lucky in this. Santino, he’s made Chief of Police in LA. He wanted me to mentor him a bit. Piquel has a bright future right now, in Hollywood. If nothing goes wrong. Like this. 

And Acme, it has the monopoly on most toon products now, especially after they’ve diversified more into human products. It’s just too big to take on.

So what am I going to do? I’m going to finish this tumbler, put this thing out of my head, and go see my wife. I could do this if it were just me, but my remaining friends deserve better than that.  And after everything I put her through, I owe Dolores the rest of our lives.

So I’m not going to think about that, or anything else. And I don’t even know, or want to know, what Project Sisyphus was even about beyond just a name.

I’m just about done with this drink. I’m going back home now. Maybe later, Dolores will want to play some paddycake. I think I can still do that much. I think I can still forget. 

Mythic Bios

It’s been a minute since I’ve written anything on this Blog.

To say that WordPress has changed since I started a Blog at all is a bit of an understatement. The Block format definitely did not exist back in 2012. It was a straightforward writing template where you could see each font and paragraph modification button. They call it Classic Mode now, but what it really was back then was free — and accessible.

I’m not going to lie. The idea of having to write a Blog article on another word platform to copy and paste it here, with time to reformat the entire thing is something that didn’t — and doesn’t frankly appeal to me. And this is a development in particular that’s been around for a while. I’ll admit, I even thought about switching platforms over the years to make it easier for me.

What I loved about the original WordPress was that it was easy and intuitive to use. You could start a Blog, open up a post template, and just write. Just like that, you were writing. It was a great place to share my off-the-cuff thoughts, and flesh them out for everyone to see on a creative level. It was a great experimental place to just place some words down, and let them grow. I understand the Blocking format allows you, theoretically, to make a more fanciful looking Blog, but there is a learning curve there that, honestly, is not intuitive to me. It makes it awkward and strange to try to be spontaneous, and that is not even going into the nightmare of finding, editing, and adding images into the entire thing.

Imagine this situation as having tools or a space that was once idiosyncratic to you. You had everything set up the way you understood it, and it was ergonomic — made to fit my cognitive perspective or lay out. And then, one day, it just changed and getting it back is too expensive emotionally and financially to maintain. It’s something along those lines for me.

Despite how this post looks, however, this isn’t a rant about how this platform has grown away from me. It is a large reason as to why I haven’t written on here in a while of course, but it’s not the main one. When I first started Mythic Bios sixteen years ago, I wanted to get my writing out there. I wanted to say something meaningful. I wanted to share my creative process and thoughts with other people, or like-minded creators and readers. I’d just come from the end of my Graduate school days, and moved out of a partner’s place. I was trying to find my own space again, partly out of spite and defiance for what I perceived were people judging me, or thinking I gave up.

Mythic Bios itself is an older idea than this Blog. It was a series of handwritten notebooks I kept up to keep writing: to explore my writing abilities, and expand on them. It existed in my own head, and then on paper, and then on the screen. This Blog was never perfect, but it felt a lot like mine. A lot happened since I first started Mythic Bios online. I traveled a bit. Twitter used to exist. I met a lot of different personalities online. I attempted to network. I went back to exploring Toronto. I wrote for two online geeky publications. Then I was working on two original series, one of which is posted on here — Alternative Facts — but reality got so much weirder and ridiculous, I just could not keep up.

COVID-19 happened. One of my partners died. Some people I looked to were not who I thought they were. And I found someone new in my life.

I’ve been spending less time online now, and mostly living. There are challenges I’m dealing with, and others on the way. It’s hard to relate to not only the format of WordPress now, but also the place I was when I started this Blog and a lot of the other work I did adjacently to it. I’m not the same person I was when I started this Blog in 2012. And honestly, I don’t think I am supposed to be.

For any longtime readers, or new ones for that matter, you will see eventually Ads start to creep back into this Blog. Some links might not work anymore. My domain name might also change. I just can’t, in good conscience, maintain my Premium anymore for a platform I barely use these days. The person who made all of this, to create a momentum, to be heard, to find someone or a body to see my writing, isn’t there anymore.

I have not given up on my writing, of course. I just think at this stage in my life it’s something I love to do, and not necessarily something that can solely keep me alive.

I’m not giving up on this Blog. Perhaps I will have something new and real to say on it on day. Maybe I will share something that I’m proud to have done. Or I will just post up some fanfiction from time to time. But I think I am at a stage where while I want to work on creative projects, I am very interested in working on myself as a person more.

Thank you so much for following me. I have saved this Blog and my articles just in any case anything happens to it. I’m glad you have been following me so far. Until another time everyone. Take care.

sincerely,
Matthew Kirshenblatt

15: Alternative Facts: Unseen



“Good friends, Nobody is trying to kill me by violence or treachery.”
– Homer, The Odyssey, IX:408

Can you see?

Guess you glean what I did there. Nah. The problem is you can’t see by the sunset. 

Long fore, these small domes, our little sancts, our suntowns came something divise in the dark. But was always the sunsets. One eye turning way, the up-firm bleeding read, pink and purpled bruises, the orange of fire. So ease to get lost in the sight of site, or the site in sight, in the paint bathing everything the same, the light burning, making the shades so much longer, and more ease to hide in the gutters of sleep. A pretty dream. 

The real thing’s that it’s hard to where sunset starts, and the downtime comes. That’s where we lived. That’s where we died. 

See, or don’t, that our suntowns had wights – deadskins, you glean – in the lights, mourning in morning, and then wight knights at night. All Anon. It’s always Anon. They got to have that light to hide. To burn us above and bury us below. Then they used the dark to hunt. Making us sight and siteless. The beauty in their cold, dead hating-hands. They got to have everything. They owned all the colours. 

Bending the laws of light, that’s how they did it. All round they made the rite of invisibilis. That was it. That was the trick. 

You get me?

Nah. You won’t. 

They didn’t. See, they didn’t want to see us. And when they didn’t want to see us, they didn’t want to be seen. They were Anon. That was the coustume.

Til we took it from ‘em. 

Was what Freed Dome prob call approps. Aft we made for – and made – the Gulf of Amarak got made in the Second Disunity, aft Precedent Forty-Seven, and all the Repo Fiefs started to go away with their Gilder Booms, and their Eagle-Eyes, their Baggers and Speculars, their Wags and their fucking Nation night knights, we came like the Free Sancts after Summer Camp, like haints falling up and down the blews forever. 

We’re the blews in the read and wights. We kept the deadskins out while taking their breaths and trumpets away. We’re the colour that the Not-Sees never found – not even in the Demos Tripartite – and when we came Anon, hunters came hunted, if you glean. All those Not-Sees, and their vanceguards, and the knights and their Nation got learned to fear the come of Night. We’re the undocted that nope their Novax, calling their prophets profits, their traders traitors, bagging their Baggers, guiling their Booms, passing on their poison, slitting their Dragons, and smashing their ice. 

And no one gleans. Nobody, nobody stabbed them. You follow? 

Nobody found us. Not in the mourning. Not by knight. You can’t hear our songs. You don’t glean our dance. We’re silent to your ears. You can’t touch us anymore. You don’t get us. You can’t. 

You didn’t see us in the Freed Dome. In the Speculars and the Eagle-Eyes in your Interface. In the pits of MePo. You never gleaned us when the Repos rose again, and you never knew the Colour Revolve made approps. 

You don’t glean us. You never gleaned us. And you never will.

Now go. These are ghost towns, moving, unsettling, where killers kill those that kill, and we come from sunken lakes and sunless seas at Night to feed hunters free lunches of lead, to chain them down to finally hear us, to stay in what was first our place, for the final lesson. 

Go now, and accept that we gleaned the truth. Because we took back from Not-Sees what they had from Libertas. We cleave to inside-out bonds of lightning weaves to come free. Surviving is to come what you haint. We are Anon now. We took our sunsets back, where now we live. With her. 

Only she gets to see us now.

 And she is blind. 

(C) Matthew Kirshenblatt, 2025.

Ladies’ Night

For DeLisa Chinn-Tyler and Mamie Johnson.

Dottie asked for a favour.

The remaining Rockford Peaches cackle to each other as the night comes on and the field lights blink into existence, even as her grandchildren shriek with delight and scramble with Ray Kinsella’s daughter Karin. Kit gives Dottie a meaningful look. 

It kind of astonishes Dottie, amongst everything else that led her to Iowa, which convinced her and Kit to get the others to come here, how she can almost smell the scent of Luttenburger Mustard on a hot dog, and taste that damned Harvey Bar on the tip of her tongue without there being anything in the way of concessions beyond what Annie’s given them.

Maybe that’s when she realizes it is time. She’s been listening to Ray, the owner of this baseball diamond in the middle of an Iowa cornfield so like and unlike the dusty land of her native Oregon, talk about seeing if players like Long John Willoughby, and The Stars of David will come to play. It was the last that made her remember, as if she could ever forget, a promise that she never spoke, but made deep down within herself. 

A lot of teams hadn’t been allowed to play during baseball’s past. America’s past. Dottie had only reluctantly joined to allow her sister a chance to get out of Oregon and make her own life. Dottie had taken it for granted: the opportunity, her skill, her own growing love of the game, of having the potential space to discover who she was. Not everyone had been allowed that privilege.

And that was when the memory of the foul ball, that never truly left, came back to her. 

Ray is animatedly discussing other possible players to bring to this field of Shoeless Joe Jackson, and the Eight Black Sox, and legends that should have been long gone, with Cappy. They’ve devolved into an argument about whether or not smalltown teams like Bayville and Central City should be allowed to compete in the same place again – if a sonnabitch pitcher like Herbie Satten would even be “eligible” to appear in this “sacred place” – when Dottie interrupts them. 

“Ray.” She just holds a hand up to Cappy’s irascible protests, looking out at a shape materializing from the corn stalks. “I think it’s time.” 

Ray looks out at the field. He sees what is happening. It’s as though he’s listening for a voice that neither of them can hear. He nods as he sees other forms come into the field. He smiles broadly at her, and she has to admit that it’s infectious, especially when she sees the other Peaches take notice. “Go on ahead. I think they’ve been waiting for you.”

“Dirt in the skirt!” Someone – she thinks it’s Mae, or Doris, calls out to more laughter. And then, there is silence. A low hum begins. Dottie’s not sure when it started. When they see what she sees, it begins.

The ambient sound becomes clear. It harmonizes. Then, she hears it. It sounds like Ellen Sue’s voice, but she can’t be sure. 

Batter up, hear that call.

The time has come for one and all…

To play ball.

Then, she knows. Dottie goes to her grandkids and kisses them. She holds her daughter as they take this all in. Kit does the same, and then grips her hand.

Cappy and Ira got them new versions of their old uniforms – red and white – and with pants. They go onto the field, Dottie leading the way, holding bats, balls, and mitts. There are other teams out there. The South Bend Blue Sox. The Kenosha Comets. And even some of the Racine Belles. 

She isn’t singing. But she feels the song, again, in her chest. In her throat. It pulsates. It glows. It rises. It is the smell of freshly cut grass. The sunshine of youth. The call of another generation’s soul.

We’re the members of the All American League.

We come from cities near and far.

We’ve got Canadians, Irish ones and Swedes.

We’re all for one, we’re one for all, we’re all American.

Some of them are singing, but it isn’t like that year ago in Cooperstown. Their song isn’t a gentle echo, or the warmth of a nostalgic ghost. It is present. It is real.

It continues as the Belles welcome Kit back with open arms, though she’s wearing a Peaches uniform. No hard feelings this time. Stilwell cries out from the bottom of the bleachers as he sees his mother again. Dottie also runs into Evelyn, holding her tightly, and promising that they’ll get her Angel to visit the field after this game. Given everything Ray told her about his own father, it is the least he – and the field – can do. They all embrace her, as Dottie sees the other player approach. She recalls Ray talking about the voice, the announcer, and wonders if somehow it is the one that is singing through this place: through them all.

Each girl stands, her head so proudly high.

Her motto “Do or Die”.

She’s not the one to use or need an alibi.

It was that foul ball. As she greets Linda “Beans,” Marbleann, Beverly, and Connie again, Dottie still makes her way down to the end of the field. She feels a momentum she hasn’t experienced in decades. For a long moment, her body doesn’t ache anymore, and her strides are effortless. She feels every inch the Amazon, the Valkyrie, the Boudica that Bob used to call her. It was everything that they were. Everything that they still are, and would always be. They were all warriors. They were all sisters on this ridiculous Elysian Field in Iowa. 

And so is the person she is coming to see.

The other woman meets her. She’s small. Slim. But she isn’t in a black and white polka dot dress, or a large-brimmed hat this time. 

Somehow, it’s like what Ray told her when he first came across Shoeless Joe, and the others. Dottie can almost see the stats appear in her mind in a nice and neat bloc.

G –  228

R – 136

BA – .273

G by POS – RP-150

Pitcher. Second-Fielder. Outfielder. A 33-8 win-loss record over three years. She knows this. Now.

It’d been broad daylight when they’d first met. Now, it is a night lit up by the lights and the magic of this small ballfield. She wears a striped uniform with a C emblazoned on it surrounding the word “chicks.”

The Steel City Chicks.

For a few moments, Dottie feels stupid. Of course, she would have had a team of her own. It just wouldn’t have been recognized by the League. She didn’t need the Peaches or the Belles. She, and her teammates, had been fighting their own battle. It was a shame it took so long, that it literally took life, death, and a miracle to get them all here to where they are – right now – today in what feels like the summer that a part of Dottie never truly left. 

But Dottie resists stretching her jaw. Instead, she extends her hand. The other woman looks at her. She gives her the same level stare, that look of pure confidence, and a steady defiance she had so many years ago back in 1943, segregated by so many things. But they had that moment, when she threw that ball down the yard like thunder and nearly destroyed Ellen Sue’s hand and baseball career.

And then, she takes Dottie’s hand. And when she does, they smile. Now their game can truly begin. 

Out

Jimmy spits non-existent tobacco onto the field, inclining his head to the side out of habit while also grunting as the other players take their leave. None of them stay, not even the grey, shadowy shapes that sometimes loiter on the turf. There aren’t many of those anymore, to be fair, as Jackson told them the owner – Kinsella – never really stops recruiting. 

It’s rough, though. They’d been playing all day, and it was time to go home, Jimmy guessed. Even Bob Feller wouldn’t bat for a pitch. Still, Jimmy knows he can’t explain. He feels tall, his shoulders broad, and he fits in his old Cubs uniform despite all the years he left behind in ‘87. Hell, his damn uniform was actually crisp white – ignoring all the dirt and sweat from under the sun. But he’s standing up straight, feels all square-jawed, and he can actually breathe again. Practically All-American, as Mom used to say. Or one of his wives. 

The floodlights are pretty good. The grass, and the stalks around the field rustle in the wind on this warm summer night as he picks up the ball. Between that, and the bleachers, and the tractor that comes through every once and a while, there isn’t much else that’s mechanical. Definitely nothing like a pitching machine. 

Out of all the things in his former life, Jimmy never thought he’d miss a pitching machine, especially not with Bob and Jackson, and Ruth, and only God knew who else around these parts. But here he is. He takes the ball, and he throws it up into the air. Then, he puts both hands on his bat, swinging back, and striking the thing out into the farthest depths of the field. He crouches, and he can feel the difference as he puts his whole body into it. 

A great thing, feeling cartilage in his knee again. All he had to do was pretty much just die for it. 

He shakes his head under his helmet. He walks past the bases, and picks up another ball. Fellas should’ve cleaned up, but he basically volunteered to do the rest. He feels uneasy. He shouldn’t. He should feel great. He does feel great. Amazing even. But as he throws the ball, and hits it again, he feels something else that’s been at him this entire day. Something – someone – is watching him. Like eyes across the bar room. Or … something else. Something that feels familiar, but he lost the name.

Like a ball he just barely grazed that could’ve been a home run that he’d never had. 

Fucking sentimental hogwash. He tried to shout that kind of junk out of the Peaches. Out of his girls. He hasn’t seen them here. Jimmy’s not sure if he’s disappointed, or happy. Maybe they’ll never come here. Maybe God doesn’t have Ladies’ Nights. 

He takes up the ball again, before he notices the shadow.

The strike of the ball against his bat cracks throughout the air, as the figure holds up one hand … and catches the ball. No glove.

Just a bare palm.

Jimmy blinks in the lights. He slowly lowers the bat to his side, fainting tapping his white pants. The shadow was easy not to see in the night, even with the field lights. It is tall. Statuesque. It wears a white short-sleeved uniform, with a red insignia and cap. The uniform is all too familiar, except it is wearing pants. 

The flash of golden ginger hair reminds him of the last late afternoon that he had seen her, before he went off in that bus to his next game, with the rest of his girls, with everything said and left between them. 

“No skirts.” Jimmy points at her legs as he walks up, to meet her in the middle of the field. 

She shrugs, looking at the ball in her hand, before turning up to regard him. “Easier on the legs.” She says. “No scrapes this time.”

“No splits either.” Jimmy shakes his head ruefully. “So much for Heaven.”

“Oh Jimmy.” Dottie says, her lips shaped into a thoughtful pout, a country girl trying not to say something more profane. “You still look like shit.” 

Jimmy scratches his chin. Even now, he still forgets to shave. Or maybe given everything, it never occurs to him that he has to anymore. They’re both trying to be nonchalant, but he sees her flexing her jaw. An old tell if he ever saw one. She looks like she did in her twenties. Like they’d just said goodbye at the bus before going to two separate lives. “And you still look like you eat and breathe this game.”

This time, Dottie looks down. A smile flits at the corners of her lips. “I guess there’s part of me that never really left it.” She manages to glance up at him. By this point, they have closed the distance between space and time, between them.

“You look great.” She says, and somehow they are both back in ‘43 in front of the pitching machine where she is picking up. ”You look like you can still go.”

“I was locked in.” Jimmy doesn’t know why he said it, but it makes sense. 

There is a moment of quiet between them. 

“I thought you liked me.”

Jimmy never thought he’d hear those words again. He’d heard them every day of the week, all the way until the day his liver and his lungs couldn’t take it anymore. He’d told her that he’d tripped. It’d been ridiculous. Pathetic. An old drunk womanizer’s excuses, a disappointing shell of at least a decent ballplayer. The truth was, he’d tripped, and fell. And he’d been falling for a long time. And he’d kept falling, plummeting for what seemed like forever before he saw what the Peaches could do. And what she actually was. 

“I did.” Jimmy wants to believe that it’s just his throat remembering what it was like to be choked up by tobacco, or just dust. “That was the problem.” 

He doesn’t look at her. He’d made his decisions. She’d made hers. But damn. At least he said it this time. Then, she is right up to him. He feels a tap against his chest. He looks down and sees her hand, curled around the baseball, pressed against his uniform. 

“Out.” She whispers, softly. 

Seeing her reminds him of that pure and clean feeling of doing something right. Something that he’d been born to do. To act. It wasn’t just that she embodied it. She felt it too. 

“I call foul.” He grumbles, without any rancor.

She puts a hand on his arm. “Maybe we should get a proper judgment call.”

“Maybe we should.” Jimmy chuckles. “But we know those umps are paid off anyway.” For a few moments, he stares back at the bleachers. And, somehow, he knows. He just does. She doesn’t look. She doesn’t have to. “Maybe we’ll have better luck with the Commish.”

*

Dottie Hinson sits on the bleachers as she watches them.

She’d only even seen Jimmy Dugan this young on a playing card. It makes her happy to see him standing up tall, and proud. He walks and moves smoothly, without his usual limping gait. And then, she saw the shadow of the figure in the field come into the light. 

Dottie doesn’t know what to think of seeing her younger self, in that modified Rockford Peaches uniform, talking with a Jimmy in his prime, a man not run down by life and his own terrible choices, and her – her not a mother yet, or a grandmother. 

“May I?”

Dottie turns her head slightly. Ray Kinsella is standing next to her on the stands, his hands in his pockets. The young farmer and owner of the field, squints down at the sight of the two figures. Dottie chuckles, shaking her head. She almost catches herself trying to pop her jaw. She nods to him. “Were there too many redheads at dinner for you?”

“Surrounded by them.” Ray laughs. “Nothing I’m not used to by now.”

It’s true. Dottie has seen Ray’s wife and brother-in-law, as well as his daughter Karin. But her daughter, and grandchildren, her sister and her own grandchildren are something else. They’d paid a nice twenty dollars for their ticket, which also included room and board for their stay. And Annie made a mean meal. 

She doesn’t have to look at Ray, to see that he knows what’s going on. “Has this happened before?”

Ray sighs. “Not often. Apart from Doc Graham, well, I told you about that. It happened outside of the field first. He followed us here. But yeah. There was one other time. Almost like this”

Dottie’s eyes narrow at the two meeting down below. “And?”

There is a pause. “Do you see the mound down deep left field?” 

“Yes.” Dottie hadn’t been sure, originally, what the plot of land had been in this strange baseball diamond in the middle of an Iowa farm, but now she already has a better idea.

“That’s Kid’s.” He looks at her. “Eddie Scissons. He called himself the oldest Chicago Cub.”

Dottie’s brow furrows, trying to remember while also focusing on the tableaux below them. “I don’t think I know him. Jimmy never talked about him …”

“He wouldn’t have known him. At least, I don’t think.” Ray rubs at his eyes. “I still don’t entirely know how it works.”

“I found out about your field through Mae. Mae Mordabito.” Mae had always been wild, but it hadn’t been until much later that Dottie realized just how superstitious, or into the occult that her former teammate had really been. “She’d read about you from Terrence Mann’s Shoeless Joe.” 

Ray laughs. “He really did it. I knew he would.”

“So.” Dottie says. “What does this mean?”

“I … honestly don’t know.” She gives him a glance. “The announcer, or whoever, the voice isn’t saying anything. Do you hear anything?” 

Dottie thinks about telling him that while she might be old, she’s not hearing voices yet. She shakes her head.

Ray rests his hands on his knees. “Eddie … He might have had more to do. Maybe …”

“He had some regrets?” She turns her gaze back to the ghosts of Jimmy and herself. And she thinks about it. “Is that what happened to him?”

“I don’t know.” Ray admits. “I think … we all, all of us, get something from the field. From the game. And I think it’s just between us, and the land.”

Dottie considers Ray’s words, the sight below them, and how she feels about it. Cooperstown had been a year ago. 1988 made her face a lot of what she had been doing, and who she had been in 1943. She’d almost not gone. She had tried to convince herself it hadn’t been important. But it was. All of it had been. It was how she reunited with her sister. With her friends. With her memories.

All of her memories. 

She sees the younger Dottie tap Jimmy in the chest with the ball. She can’t hear much of anything that they say, but she can figure out enough. No one knows yet, except Kit and her daughter. Bob passed about a year ago. She had lived a full long life with him, and she didn’t regret a single thing. Not for their offspring or their grandkids. When she went – and she would – she would be with him. 

But there would always be a part of her, deeply, intrinsically, spiritually, that was baseball. And Jimmy was also baseball. She smiles at him, at that young man he was and is now acknowledging her. And as she watches that part of her, that Dottie, free of responsibility and fear and anxiety taking Jimmy Dugan’s hand in hers, as they move through the corn stalks and vanish from view, a strange peace fills her that she didn’t know she needed. Something had told her to make this trip: a long trek from Oregon to Iowa for what could have been some tourist kitsch due to a metaphysical book from a former free love author. Now she can enjoy the rest of the time she has left. Now that part of her can truly move on.

Dottie slowly gets up. She waves Ray off as he attempts to help her. “Let’s go back inside.” She tells him. “My grandkids will be wondering about me. And Kit will want details. Otherwise she will never let me live it down.”

And while Dottie remembers, even now, that there is no crying in baseball there is still plenty of space to smile about it. 

14: Alternative Facts: Body Politik


But see, amid the mimic rout,
A crawling shape intrude!
A blood-red thing that writhes from out
The scenic solitude!
It writhes!—it writhes!—with mortal pangs
The mimes become its food,
And seraphs sob at vermin fangs
In human gore imbued.

– Edgar Allan Poe, “The Conqueror Worm”

It’s Aft-Hallows. The treats are tallied. The white sheets pulled away.

The masks come off. 

It’s been many cycles since I searched the Freed Dome for that re-image. For that lost word. I walked through many Governs, Festives, and sub-cultics trying to find it.

Trying to find the true face of Amarak.

I’ve been gone long, deep into the Interface, deeper into the Land. And still, I didn’t know how one word would lead on, to the place of the Interregnum, and the heart of ultimate divise, of the Second Great Disunity. 

My parens always told me to bury the plague-bare. To avoid the Nats. A commonsensical. The Nats, the Novax, helped the Disunity. Ended the Disunity. But did they?

What is sickness? Is it just the body, or gleaning itself? So many words from so many places in the knowing space in my head now. The Rangers in the Badlands had a secret. Many secrets. In their Interface, sep and divise from the Repolitik, I saw a legend. 

The scholars of the Freed Dome Collective said that the Forty-Fourth Precedent was the last. But there was word of Forty-Six. Fore the Novax, the legend says, they said Two Teeth held Amarak, barely, two pinpricks of an old man. Two teeth, and four, keeping back the blood red tide. An in-oculate, a grafting, against disease. The Predicts say two women could have saved the Politik, fore and aft.

That was when the Novax came. The true Novax.

They did not see. They refused to see anything.

There is another view. We never had Precedents. Only Presents. A Forty-Sixth Present of the Demos, beyond the Forty-Fourth,  tried to save us from the sickness coming. But the Land has always been tough soil. Tangled. Twisting. A morass. The Repos, and their Fiefs and their Barrons called our Land a Swamp. And they never fallow, but always grow it. Ever-growing cycles. Revolves. That seeming’s that Aft-Hallows has always been a Colour Revolve: an Orange Revolve that tried to rule Time. One look between the veils, a moment, a box opening is and isn’t, death and non-death … 

And then, no more Present.

The Rangers have an old saying. When the death birds fly, they make no eggs. They also have another saying: the Orange Revolve is always led by Red Caps. The Freed Dome Collective is fallen. The Tripartite squabbles. Secret festives. Opportunes. Eagle-Eyes everywhere. The Interface compromises. The factions are occupied. It is only the start.

I think about what I gleaned about the Nats, and the Novax. And I see. It has never been Nats. You can’t run from something that isn’t there. And the Novax isn’t just sickness. It isn’t only a disease. Two Teeth cleaved the red deep under the binding of the blue, but it could only do so much agont the rot underneath. Agon the maggots. There is no cure, no in-occulate for the chronic Revolve. Death’s greed for life. For hate. 

And this answers my query. We didn’t know. We did not learn. There was no Present during the Interregnum. No real Present Aft. There is no real Present now. Just Ever-Now, for Amarak. 

(C) Matthew Kirshenblatt, 2025.

Fuck the Box: Greta Gerwig’s Barbie

If anyone told me that, one day, I would be writing something about Barbie I wouldn’t have believed them. Barbie was something that little girls played with, while boys of my generation had action figures like G.I. Joe, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles instead. In the 1980s and 90s, if you were a child you mostly lived under this gender binary of a socialization of play, and toys. Barbie was pink, hyper and even stereotypically feminine, and seemed like playing house.

Mattel created Barbie, and produced her, her companions, and her accessories even though the company also made many other toys built for children of all genders. Mattel, as a toy company, wants to sell more of its products so that it can make more money. It recognizes social and political trends, even economic changes, and adapts Barbie and presumably its other toys accordingly. And the Barbie film is another vehicle, another accessory, by which this corporate entity can continue to do exactly that: make a profit. Warner Brothers cooperated with Mattel to also make money, and together they made a power ad campaign for the movie, and everything that comes after it.

And then, you have the big names working in this film. The insanely skilled Margot Robbie as Barbie, of course, Ryan Gosling as Ken, even Kate McKinnon’s Weird Barbie, kick ass Michael Cera as Alan, and so many others bring a presence to the movie, and make people want to see what happens. And Greta Gerwig herself, the director of the movie, is a well known independent filmmaker who wants to make a story about girls, and women, and their place in the world. 

I wrote a Letterboxd review of Barbie a while back, and while I feel like I captured a lot of initial thoughts, I’ve time to think about a lot of other elements and while my score – namely, three and half parties out of five – will remain the same, I feel like there is more to say. 

In my original review, I wrote that Gerwig, not unlike Barbie herself, walks like a ballerina – on her tiptoes – on a tight-rope between telling an independent feminist story, and working with the Mattel corporation. At the same time, there is that even thinner line between the esoteric, almost Pee-Wee’s Playhouse reality of Barbieland, and a commentary of our capitalist, consumerist patriarchal world. When you look at Gerwig’s depiction of Barbieland, it is a mystical and mythological place. Barbie is Wonder Woman, having not been born through the flesh of men and women, but as an artificial being made by another species in another plane of existence. She comes to Man’s World, or Los Angeles, and she represents her world of Paradise Island or Barbieland. As Margot Robbie portrays her, she is naive about Los Angeles or the rest of the human world, but she is intelligent and capable such as her punching out the man who slaps her ass, and when she escapes being put into a box. Amazons themselves, as they were originally made by William Moulton Marston, would lose their powers – and Wonder Woman herself would do so – if they let themselves be bound. And Barbie knows this on an intrinsic level, which is why she runs, and goes to the liminal spaces in the corporation of Mattel – an even more pronounced plane of Patriarch’s World – to get out of there, and find the spirit of her creator Ruth Handler: perhaps her Hippolyta, or one of the goddesses.

Barbie is innocent and blissfully ignorant of her gifts and existence before the Outside World – and her owner’s thoughts, intrude on her: changing her, making her graceful, floating, tip-toe feet flat and subjected to the humiliation of gravity, along with the cellulite of her skin instead of the perfection of plastic. At the same time, her Lasso of Truth is what Gloria, essentially her owner and an employee of Mattel drawing sketches of her, or versions of her, gives her when she reveals the maddening and ridiculously contradicting expectations of patriarchy for women, and towards the tools to which inform women’s – and girls’ – socialization: namely dolls. Namely Barbie. 

The metaphor gets tortured the more I write it, but you get the idea. Others have compared Gerwig’s Barbie and its existential situation to Adam and Eve eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, instead of the intrinsic immortality of plastic. This is a parallel made by Alissa Wilkinson in her Vox article In the beginning, there was Barbie, and it matches another mythological interpretation in the form of Barbie being the goddess of love and war Inanna with her trip to the Underworld and back in Meg Elison’s “Barbie” is the new Inanna. The ideas behind Barbie are old, just as dolls were arguably created to educate girls to become mothers for generations before – as the film does through its tribute (and not a rip-off) to Kubrick’s 2001 – so too does Barbie demonstrate the potential to become more than a potential mother, but that, and being beautiful, intelligent, and capable as one’s self as well. 

But Gerwig also manages to illustrate the problematic elements behind this idea as well, though navigating those meta-fictional layers can be tricky, and I nearly got lost in them. The Barbies of Barbieland are expected to be all things, all at once, all the time. Because they are not human and have no biological needs, perhaps they can do that but it is telling that when Ken comes back from Los Angeles with “patriarchy,” many of the Barbies go along with this overt version of it because it allows them to “relax” and “not think,” or “do anything,” for a while. There is a lot to be explored there, especially whether or not the Barbies were already under patriarchy by the nature of them being plastic and perfect, and partying and just having to be played with and playing at being independent, and nothing more before Barbie and Ken ever went on their journey. 

It is pretty telling that the film’s version of Mattel’s Board of Directors were desperate in keeping both the inhabitants of Barbieland out of the human world, and the human world from getting in there. As Ken is traveling through Los Angeles, he encounters a businessman who all but tells him that patriarchy’s greatest trick in their world is seeming like it has changed, but operating “behind the scenes,” appropriating the tokens of diversity and representation but using them as decorations or, again, accessories while business continues on as usual. The reason why Mattel in the film doesn’t want anything to change, even when Ken’s changes to to Barbieland into “Kenland” still sells toys, is that people will catch on that they are being overtly patriarchal, the Kens’ behaviour over the Barbies will be seen and questioned by girls and mothers. They want the dream to remain the same. They want the seeming of freedom to continue so that they continue making toys, making money, and keeping them – and the systems that they support in the human world – in control. Will Ferrel as the Mattel CEO wants to remain “Mother” and keep co-opting maternal and feminist icons for himself, and the company no matter the cost. 

So it is a good thing that Gloria and her daughter Sasha, as obnoxious as a teenage child can be, go back with Barbie and represent the women that Barbieland has influenced: to the place that they also influence.

I think the strongest part of the world-building that Gerwig creates is also one of its most vulnerable elements. The idea that Barbieland and the human world are planes that influence each other is great, but it is never explained how Barbieland came to be, and how these walking plastic dreams can actually crossover in this version of our world. The idea that a Barbie doll’s owner can influence them, and vice-versa is also inspired but it’s never explored just how far this goes, or if a doll can be affected by a generation of owners. I honestly believed that the twist of the whole film would have been that Barbie thought that Sasha had been her owner, only to realize that those memories of a girl playing with her weren’t of Sasha but a child version of Gloria who grew up, and was working for Mattel. I still think this was a missed opportunity, and could have led to more character development for Gloria and Sasha, as well as reinforcing that lesson Barbie had earlier about human mortality when she saw an old woman for the first time sitting on a bench, under a tree, confident in where she is in her life. I thought that was the foreshadowing there about Barbie not understanding human aging and frailty, and I think it is still a missed opportunity.

The film itself has many glib and clever moments, and scenes of grace too. For every madcap reference to the Barbie dolls being animated toys, there are statements about men talking too much about Zack Snyder’s Justice League Cut and Kubrick, and Barbie meeting her maker. And I don’t care what anyone says: Barbie being having feminist speeches is not a disingenuous thing that Mattel and Warner Brothers’ advertisements lied about. From the very beginning, we knew this wasn’t going to be a light romp in the park. Once you have a children’s doll in a children’s doll party asking “do you ever think about death,” Pandora’s Jar of pretty paper worms will spring open. If no one knew there were going to be serious nuances and poignancies to Barbie, they obviously were not paying attention. 

This isn’t a children’s film, even though it uses children’s things to tell the story. Does it do it well? For the most part, though it can get awkward at times. For example, what are the purposes of the Kens, and how do they work into the world of Barbieland, and the meta-narrative outside of it? Are the Kens the oppressed minority or the other half of the population? Are they representative of the self-entitled little boys, and Peter Pans, that men are supposed to be in our world? Did Ken, as an individual, have some genuine grievances in how he was treated but took matters too far in “correcting them,” to a point where once he knew patriarchy wasn’t about “horses” adding more to men’s shapes, he wanted to stop but he enacted a force he couldn’t control and committed his ego to something to the point where he was in far too deep to walk away? Are the Kens symbolic of the Trump regime and Supreme Court presence that overturned Roe v. Wade, or are they a class of people that will “one day get the same representation that women do in our world?” Perhaps the Kens exist, as accessories to Barbie on a good day, and also as silly mirrors to show men how dangerously ridiculous patriarchy actually is.

Is it true that once you take something out of the box, it is extremely difficult to put it back in again? Is it even all but impossible? Jars are similar to lamps, and lamps contain genies or jinn that grant powerful wishes – or dangerous wish fulfillment if you think about Patty Jenkins’ Wonder Woman 1984 –  and boxes have another derogatory connotation that patriarchy has associated with women’s bodies and genitalia. And while Barbie, in most of the film, doesn’t have human functions, the fact that Mattel’s Board of Directors wanted to put her back into the box, reducing her back into her “basic function,” speaks volumes.

Barbie is intellectual property, but also an idea. She’s both Athene bursting from the head of Zeus after he tries to eat Metis, but also Aphrodite who is both Zeus’ daughter, but somehow also the creation of the severed phallus of his grandfather Ouranos fallen into the primordial waters. Ruth Handler did create Barbie in 1959, but she was inspired to make her by the German doll Bild Lilli: the patents and copyrights of which were all bought later by Mattel in 1964, and therefore phasing Lilli out in favour of Barbie. Lilli is like Lilith, Adam’s legendary first wife, in that she was a character created with the Bild, with a newspaper, with knowledge lost while Mattel created a strange and disturbing version of Barbie’s friend Midge who was pregnant, and whose body and child could be taken apart not unlike the apocrypha of Adam watching his second wife be created by God. And Ken is the extension of Barbie just as Eve was made from the rib of Adam. Then Margot Robbie’s Barbie sees the truth of life by watching an old woman sitting under a tree, and later she gives her own plastic near-immortality to become Barbara Handler: the spiritual daughter of Ruth.  

Like I said, there are many layers to Gerwig’s film, even if sometimes it can be a bit all over the place and lost in the spectacle of slapstick comedy, and sometimes childlike fantasy. I feel like it could have become far more grim, but Mattel would not allow for that as, again, they want to sell toys to children. So what does this film say? I would argue that, as I mentioned in my Letterboxd review, that Barbie is consumerism talking about itself, while also critiquing itself and its patriarchal origins, and what it influences at the same time. Gerwig takes great pains to have Gloria and Sasha not only debate about Barbie disappointing and even representing fascism or a destruction of feminist progress to women, but how just as men have unrealistic expectations of women, women internalize unattainable perspectives on women, and treat each other badly, and that this is something they need to work on.

Does Barbie represent feminism? Or a form of feminism? Is it a form of token feminism exploited by capitalism or something not unlike LGBTQ+ issues of pinkwashing or rainbow capitalism: representing itself as enlightened while ignoring or continuing to promote structures of inequality and systemic abuse? Does it represent a form of women’s cinema, or a discussion on cinema as well? With the references to Kubrick and Snyder aside as male fans of their works mansplaining cinema to women, I particularly resonate with director Anna Biller’s thoughts on the matter. In a series of Tweets, she looks at the seeming contradiction between an independent female film auteur’s perspective and vision and its relation to having heavy corporate backing and influence. Or as Biller puts it: “The marketing, conflating indie auteur films with a hyper-corporate product, makes me a bit queasy, but I suppose this is what they were going for: the message that women’s cinema is as serious as film bro cinema.”

Barbie, for all of its visualizations of representation and diversity, still has problematic elements when you consider the capitalism involved, and even its own growing pains: with Handler having taken another design, and then her company buying it out years later, Handler and her husband leaving their company under criminal financial accusations, and leaving it all to mostly male directors for years. But it’s okay that it’s problematic. Nothing is perfect. That is the point, I feel. Gerwig’s film seems to say that it’s all right that Barbie isn’t perfect. That hard work isn’t effortless. That progress isn’t a linear process. Perhaps Barbieland is like some kind of ancient Mediterranean Dreamland,  or a Sybil’s Underworld as written by Virgil: a plane where the past and future, where what was and what will be, exist simultaneously. Maybe nothing changed after the Revolution of the Kens and the Barbies taking back their world: basically restoring their Party. Perhaps Barbies will still tip-toe around like ballerinas tapping empty cups to their faces, plastic books with nothing in them, looking at already made artificial pancakes, turning on invisible showers, and floating everywhere without the need for gravity, for shitting, for pissing, for digestion, or sleep, or sex. Maybe for all Barbieland says it will change, it will remain behind that Gate of Ivory, and stay the same. Perhaps our world is no different and just an extension of believing in these false dreams. Or perhaps it’s something that everyone in Barbieland are standing on the same ground, and actually talking about things now: even the Kens who will have lower court positions, and get to wear ridiculous robes.

And as for Barbie? Like Pinnochio, or Giselle in Enchanted, or Evelyn from Everything, Everywhere All At Once who believed she was the greatest failure of all the aspects of herself, of the Barbies, she exits the Dreamland through the Gate of Horn – of truths – and becomes real. She’s become flawed, complex, fallible. Her journey here isn’t perfect, just as this film is not. Maybe she represents an uncertain future, scary and messy, but inevitable. And just like Margot Robbie’s Barbie, Greta Gerwig’s film – madness and all – might, and as others hope, will be its own gateway to tell other prominent women’s stories in glorious colour.

I began this writing by saying I never understood Barbie growing up, and perhaps it’s not so much what Barbie is as a story, or even a film that’s important, but working with the elements of what girls and those that have grown up with it know, Greta Gerwig makes something that can represent the potential of more. Because at the end of the day, playing house isn’t a bad thing. And there is definitely nothing wrong with being feminine in any form. And there is nothing abnormal about the colour pink. Perhaps, as Aqua said it best in their song “Barbie Girl:” it’s all “Imagination. Life is your creation. C’mon Barbie, let’s go party …” 

What I Meant to Send: ElfQuest

So Richard and Wendy Pini have been sending out an email newsletter for a while called “matter of oPINIon”: where they talk about ElfQuest retrospectives and current news in the world of Abode. But what they also do is encourage comments and discussions, as well as feedback that they will sometimes share in future newsletters.

I was fortunate to get a part of my letter reprinted.



Please forgive how small this is. WordPress’ layout has changed over time, and this is the best I could manually enlarge this. But this made my morning. But what I want to add is that there was more to this message, and I would very much like to share with you what I Sent. Perhaps there are other Elves out there that might share Recognition with my words. The topic was called “What If.”

This is what I meant to Send.

Hello Richard and Wendy:

I love “What Ifs.” So many of my own stories started from What Ifs. So in honour of your speculations, let me tell you about what my life would have been like without ElfQuest: if the comic came out in 2023 instead of 1978. Well, for starters, I would never have heard of Two Moons. There would have been no mention of it in Piers Anthony’s Xanth, and there would have been no Jenny Elf and she might have written to Anthony making herself into another kind of Elf that did not know Sending, or Recognition. 

Then, after the Nineties in the early aughts, I would have never seen the ElfQuest Archives at Cyber City Comics and contemplated buying those pricey, beautiful volumes in the late afternoon sunlight. The strange American Eighties style cartoons reminiscent of the days of Smurfs, Ewoks, Gummy Bears, and Teddy Ruxpin married to the manga style of Astro Boy and The Little Prince would not have stayed in the corners of my mind save only from my childhood. 

But, more importantly, in the ’10s — after my University unenrolled me from my part-time studies and wouldn’t release my student loan, when I was still living on campus as a Graduate student of York University’s Humanities Program in Canada, I would have gone to Seneca College and bought Mark Millar and Tommy Lee Edwards’ Marvel 1985 at a comics sale stand: regaling myself with Marvel’s villains unleashing themselves in the real world while a young boy is the only one that can stop them, and potentially made the whole thing happen. Toby was a lost boy, who later in other stories becomes a reality-destroying villain himself. That is the story I would have been reading in my apartment, with the last bit of my free money, had ElfQuest Archives Volume 1 not been there, and made me realize that it inspired Jenny the Elf from Xanth, and had themes of polyamory and non-monogamy that were — and are — quite relevant to my life at that time. I would never have written years later, When I Recognized Elfquest for my Mythic Bios, or When I Found “The Heart’s Way” in the World of Two Moons for Sequart: because “The Heart’s Way” was the moment where the wonder of my past imagination, and the present of my love and intimate life intersected. I would have had to discover feeling seen, being represented, in smaller web comics. In fact, the closest I would have come to knowing Sending and Recognition in Elfquest and the Wolfriders would have been grokking and water brotherhood from Robert A. Heinlein’s Stranger in a Strange Land. 

And I think, by the time ElfQuest came about in in this alternative 2023, I would have seen Steven Universe and thought it influenced by that cartoon by Rebecca Sugar: the LGBTQ+ Fraggle Rock of this generation, and perhaps it’d be more futuristic and start out with Jink as the protagonist discovering a world where immortals once crashed and found prejudice, but for a time found adaptation with the wolves … where she is hoping to find her way from the fragments left, and the strange people she encounters while teleporting in strange, short distances seemingly without patterns here and there. Perhaps it would have best mirrored how I feel in my own life right now. 

So many speculations. As Wendy posed to Stan Lee with regards to how the Silver Surfer views humanity and other sentients, perhaps Jinks’ futuristic grittier world wouldn’t have been so bad, and she wouldn’t be — and isn’t — so lost. There is still wonder. Still friends to make. Still adventures to have. I think I would have liked that 2023 world. But I appreciate this one more, on this facet of the multiverse. 

Sending much love.

— Matthew Kirshenblatt



A Jewish Neurodivergent Looks At Lovecraft

This is one of my few Reblogs on both my Mythic Bios and my Horror Doctor Blogs. Bobby Derie of Deep Cuts is a brilliant Lovecraft scholar and creative writer in his own right. Out of everyone in my Haunted Library on my Horror Doctor Blog, he is the only one aside from Darcy the Mailgirl (or Diana Prince), and even to some extent Joe Bob Briggs himself of which I have any interaction.

I came into contact with Bobby through the Commentaries on Facts in the Case of Alan Moore’s Providence, and I have not looked back since. He is the first person to not only publish a horror article of mine, but also to pay me for the privilege. It means a lot to me. I never thought I would write an article, back in the day, focusing on my interaction with Lovecraft as someone of Jewish background and neurodivergence. I was so focused on “passing” back in the day, of not seeming like too much of a freak, that I would never have considered it. But even if sometimes I feel some chagrin, and even awkward self-consciousness at what I wrote here, it is all true and what is embarrassment over a human life in the grand scheme of cosmicism, and interacting with so amazing and terrifying a universal view?

I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing and rewriting, and adding to it myself with Bobby’s help. With strange aeons, my friends.

greyirish's avatarDeep Cuts in a Lovecraftian Vein

A Jewish Neurodivergent Looks At Lovecraft
by Matthew Kirshenblatt

The population [of New York City] is a mongrel herd with repulsive Mongoloid Jews in the visible majority, and the coarse faces and bad manners eventually come to wear on one so unbearably that one feels like punching every god damn bastard in sight.
—H. P. Lovecraft to J. Vernon Shea, 19 Nov 1931, Letters to J. Vernon Shea et al. 81

I have mixed feelings about H.P. Lovecraft. I remember when I was an adolescent seeing his works in bookstores, and wondering just what kind of writer would have a last name such as his. As I got older and more fascinated with horror I just assumed that Lovecraft was a writer that focused on murder and the macabre, not unlike Edgar Allan Poe. This quaint idea was challenged when I began to encounter the idea of Cthulhu in…

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